I Can't Be Clever All The Time

I want to respond to some of the stuff we're reading this week, but I'm too tired and uninspired to come up with a title for this post. Consider it Homework #14.

Cheers is a place where everybody knows your name. Do we all wish they'd type "SPAZEBOY!" or "COSMO JILL!" every time we logged on? Are we secretly jazzed every time our blogs are linked to or someone mentions us in their musings? Do we desperately try to keep with up with our online friends' lives via their blogs? Do we want to know each other?

I am still mystified, in a sense, by the desire for the heretofore anonymous bloggers to want to convene at, say, a convention. The beauty of anonymity, one might say, is that it affords one more liberties, more freedom of expression, for some. Didn't we read somewhere that while the Internet offers a networking opportunity, it also keeps people away from real-life social situations? Its usage is almost oxymoronic. (My spell-check flagged that one.) The digital community has come to replace the flesh-and-blood. We "meet" new people. Discuss our common interests. And no matter how honest and revealing we might be online, there is no truth-o-meter. I may not actually be a thirteen year old girl who is conflicted about what to do with her My Little Pony playset. The oxymoronity (flagged) continues. I can be completely honest about myself or I can completely hide my identity behind a manufactured persona. There is no way for the viewer to know.

This takes me to this week's subject: social networking. The Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde dynamic—or perhaps it is the Diana Prince/Wonder Woman dynamic that is at work here. Who do we present to our "Friends" on Friendster? The initial impulse for joining an online social network should be noted. The 13yo girl could be looking for other lamenters of lost youth on MySpace. Or I could be looking for a boyfriend on Friendster. Or our cool cat from LiveJournal could be tossing around a new IM language she shares with her boyfriend, just to entertain the small audience of her friends.

I began experimenting with social networking in AOL chat rooms back in, probably, 1993 or so. There were no pictures then. Just profiles. People would often put physical descriptions of themselves in there, along with personality stuff and likes-and-dislikes. The user perused the profiles and then contacted the person based on what they had written about themselves. Interesting that the physical appearance was completely taken out of it. Now, people quickly learned what traits in the description attracted people. So, often, many people had similar physical characteristics. The truth was revealed only when they opened the door to their apartment.

When I revisited the chat rooms a few years later, I learned that I would not even be given the time of day without a picture posted up there. (I believe we still had to scan in a photograph at that time. It still amazes me how antiquated that sounds and it was probably ten years ago.) Now, the picture helps. But it is still a chosen representation, on the part of the poster, and a mere two-dimensional, see-what-I-want-to-see image for the viewer. How do you choose your photo? Will it be cheerful or brooding? Will it be topless or more modest? Will it be an active, I-play-sports shot or a passive, I-like-piña-coladas-and-getting-caught-in-the-rain shot? All these questions are very important, as they will contribute to your projected image.

Later, these sites expanded to include photo albums. Now you were able to show yourself in many different aspects of life. You could show your friends, your dog, your surfboard. You could write about your faves, in the hopes someone else might like to watch Psycho Beach Party over and over, just like you. Or share your love of The McGuire Sisters AND The Pointer Sisters AND Scissor Sisters. Do they like zany British comedy television like Absolutely Fabulous AND political talk shows like The McLaughlin Group?

No matter how honest you are or if you claim to be Anna Nicole Smith's pharmacist, you have chosen every speck of that online presentation. Different pieces of it will resonate with different viewers. I'm afraid I have betrayed myself a bit. I realize that my point-of-view has mostly been from the dating side of things. Full disclosure: I'm not thirteen. I'm not a girl. And I'm distraught over my Strawberry Shortcake playset.